Finally.. An new post!!

Well, well, well, blog fans.. Here we are.. It's the beginning of spring, it's cold, and the sun is bright.. What a bloody predicament we're in, eh? I guess that I should say that I'm over her.. (but we all know that I never will be totally over her) I mean, it's been over a year, and sometimes I still think about her..

Anyhow..

I have been doing some thinking.. (Yeah, I know.. you could tell by the smoke coming out of my ears!!) I have come to the realization that "she" may not exist.. I have been thinking about this for a long time, maybe I won't find happiness in someone, until I find happiness in myself.. (What a concept!) It's not that I'm not happy with things.. There are things that I know were completely out of my control. And since I'm a bit of a control freak.. (Yes. Fr. Tom, I like driving my own bus.. Sometimes WAAAAY too much.) I find I'm having a tough time letting go of the reigns.. I know I should just let God show his plan for me, but I am way too impatient for that. (How can I be patient when I can hear the clock ticking in the background?) In no way am I denying God, but moreso, I feel like I'm denying myself a chance at true happiness. I've visited a few bookstores in order to find Fr. Dn. Stephen Holley's book, "How to choos the right partner for life?" I'm interested in this book for one big reason.. Is it something that I could use to help me through this time in my life, or is it a manual on ordering floor mats for my IROC Z28?? I know that I will have some say in the matter, but c'mon.. All Orthodox Christians know that it's God's will that will ultimately win the day.

I have found, especially in the music that I have been listening to, as well as some of the lyric writing that I have been doing, that I've gotten more into a different type of "romantic" writing.. Less about the mating ritual, and more about times, people, places, and narrative. I'm not writing songs or music to impress people, (read:women) I'm more writing from a place that has always been there, just kept repressed by either the person I was with at the time, or depression, or "It just doesn't sound peppy enough!"

I'm still trying to decide wether or not to skip going to Manchester for surgery, or skip the surgery and go to Manchester..

Oh well.. At least I don't have to worry about work right now..
Go Pens!! Go Pitt!!

~R

P.S.--> Mr. Pryor.. you are a bloody idiot.. You should go to a real school.. like maybe IUP!!